We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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