If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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