I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
