Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We got so high we made milksteak
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
