Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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