Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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