Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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