Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
