It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
