dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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