Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
