dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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