glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
