worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
