i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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