shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
