I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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