Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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