:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
