your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
3 2 1 whiskey
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
