last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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