i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
