Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
