oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
