..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
