I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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