belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
