im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
