Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She even gives head with a lisp.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
