Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize