he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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