i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
