no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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