its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
