My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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