You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
