I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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