Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
did you just send me my own nude
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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