Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
