Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
