We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
