I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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