i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
