I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
