Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
