I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I smell like Dick and happiness
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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