I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Drunk is not a location!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize