HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
