I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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