i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
