It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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