That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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