I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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