my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
