life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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