I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
