I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
