Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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