we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize