can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
