I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
