Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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