I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize