I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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