He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
