Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
