Someone shit on the floor
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
