This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize